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Impeachment

It’s been so long I can’t recall when I last saw your face
But I know that for it to have been the last it was neither time nor place
As your features fade to me and I lose the depths of your brown eyes
A little piece inside my heart tears itself and then it cries.

So long were we apart and yet a part of me you’d remained
Too interwoven now my soul to simply be retrained
To lose as well the friendship from the one I held so dear
Seems the thousandth cut to kill me when not a word I hear

Is it here the story endeth now with fizzle where once was flame
Is it to be in fairy tales where I can solely speak your name
Will time perhaps afford that some love be requited
Albeit knowing from experience that what was once is not ignited

I’d sooner travel with you near me, if no longer at my side
I know without your sense around me I can scarcely take a stride
Perhaps I offer little to entice you as a worthy friend
But I had to let you know that I hope this will not be the end

Song Of The Day ~ That Petrol Emotion – Sweet Shiver Burn

Clichées are very often that because they are true for so many people in a variety of circumstances.  Or perhaps they are clichées because people say them so frequently whether they are true or not in order to say something when they cannot think of anything original, prefering instead to fall back on a hackneyed phrase or mantra that smacks of empathy without really ever putting themselves out on a limb.  No area is more cliché-ridden than that of love.

Most of us have been at the sharp end of the ‘L word’ more than once and to have been so requires us to have first experienced the very reason that makes us take the risk.  The alternative is the life of the comfortably numb.  Is it therefore a panacea that we seek to give the person newly joining the brother- or sisterhood of the lachrymose succour or is it in fact ourselves we wish to reassure that such things have ultimately a karmic balance that will result in the end all our dreams coming true and all our fears being quashed?  If by every emotional catastrophe of others we allow our own belief to be dented then from where can we draw our hope?

You may feel life has meaning and if so this may bring you a sense of order, of balance or at least of some reason.  You may feel that fate has its plans, that there is a reason for everything and a path we are all destined to walk down.  If, like me, you do not hold with any of those tenets then you have to look upon such events in life as being ones that do not resolve themselves and that we as humans are in fact naive to believe they will, not to mention rather self-indulgent in even thinking they should.

Time does not heal it merely clots the wound, allows a scab to form and eventually, after perhaps some picking at it or the metaphorical application of salt by life events and/or people, to be left with a scar that no longer causes physical pain but reminds us of a time when we once felt it and the reasons we were wounded in the first place.  If we are lucky it is scarred in a place that is not so often visible, if we are not then perhaps we will forever wince when something strays near the area, transporting us back to the spectre of what had caused us the pain the first time or maybe just the last time.  Do we stop undertaking the activity that caused it in the first place? That rather depends on how much we enjoyed it, or what enticement there may be to do so again, but we will never be the same innocent participant as we were before, we will have protective clothing and be watching for the blade that cut us.

I am wounded and the blood is yet to clot, the pain is duller now as my brain has become more used to its ache and it has sought to release some endorphins to help me to function at all.  I do not need platitudes I need morphine derivatives, anything else just seems either callous or patronising and neither of those are any more helpful than vacuous clichées!

Song Of The Day ~ Michael Kiwanuka – You’ve Got Nothing To Lose

What No More Will Be

Jack Vettriano, Graham Greene,
the number 6, hidden obscene
so much I saw and where I’ve been.
Venice, Oxford, Sydney too
always my dear entwined with you

Of course Australia’s icons clear,
could I never view again I fear,
without shedding more than just a tear.
For in every landmarks resting place
I cannot fail to see your face.

A country I visited for one sole reason,
to keep love alive not fall to treason
so mattered less the fickle season.
You know a year on soon we reach
since I kneeled before you on that beach.

I do not regret what there I said
nor will I ever afore I’m dead,
it came from heart and not from head.
That piece of me to you is twixt,
which now a point forever fixed.

I’d surprised myself with ardour bounding
which makes it all so magic sounding
explaining now the torrid hounding.
For now the only true recourse,
a grieving lifetime’s slow remorse.

Yet still I feel it’s not enough,
the pain of that weekend rebuff,
the seams it tore callously rough.
For then it wasn’t us to me,
I felt you had long gone, you see?

Advice oft sought so seldom came
just served to show I was to blame
and had traded love for cloak of shame.
Perhaps we drifted long apart,
but that didn’t come from in my heart.

For that I know I’ll always pay
in spite of what others may say.
I’ll miss you ’til my dying day.
I realised long since it was true
there’d never be another you.

Song Of The Day ~ Bombay Bicycle Club – What If?

Misery’s Child

Oh can there be more parlous sight
than a boy who can’t survive the night
a sorry figure who feels the sting
of a lowly, upturned Claddagh ring
not long since on finger proudly sat
what more sad a sign could be than that
staring down as enforced grieving
sees every little promise leaving
with it ebbs all sense of vigour
that cuts a broken listless figure
can there really be one more of sorrow
than knowing it’s the same tomorrow

Song Of The Day ~ Little Ann – Deep Shadows

Oh my dearest Honeybear
why couldn’t you be here not there
why did you live o’er all those waves
preventing all that loving craves
a barrier to all that feeds
the gentle touch and all our needs

Oh my dearest Honeybear
how could we not have seen the flare
how did we change our sailing course
depleting so our strength’s resource
a hammer blow our warm embrace
the succour of your fairest face

Oh my dearest Honeybear
what drives me now I know not where
what can I from existence glean
remembering what I had foreseen
a cogent sense of where we’d go
the proving of the love we’d know

Oh my dearest Honeybear
who else could now with you compare
who takes my hand to walk the line
entreating sun to start to shine
a reason to rise up each day
the softly whispered words you say

Oh my dearest Honeybear
which path I take could ever care
which purpose now for life’s pursuit
promising what is henceforth moot
a fragile cliff edge fingers slip
the skin down to the bone does rip

Oh my dearest Honeybear
when will we meet again somewhere
when might we such love reconcile
transcending long o’er many a mile
a love that I cannot eschew
the life I dread begins anew

Song Of The Day ~ Obi – Somewhere Nicer

Lengthened Daze

memories through so much survived cannot the same way be revived
a soul that’s wounded, torn in twain will never heal to quite the same
a seam, a stich e’er out of place, occasional look on empty face
the hope, the dream’s cruel fall from grace, a heart’s faith all unseated

the fabric of constructed real that circumstance saw fit to steal
what once had seemed so set in stone recedes to lifetime spent alone
reluctant path henceforth to walk no capability left to talk
the nighttime shadows furtive stalk ’til very end of days

one day perhaps the torture halt and reconcile my line of fault
I’ll come at last at least accept within the world a slight connect
hardened towards fair innocence may be a fitful recompense
relinquishing the muscles tense though there will never be true peace

Song Of The Day ~ Visage – Fade To Grey

Droplets

Slow descending salted tear I did not ask you to be here
nor circumstance which does appear for which you to my face adhere

I’m no longer quite the man no will possess to what I can
my destiny got up and ran and hollowed out a life to span

so much of all in floods I miss a hand in hand a unique kiss
a portent of impending bliss that all the negatives dismiss

when many times our smiling broad the closeness hours did oft afford
where virtue indeed its own reward has now been swiftly put to sword

for now the colours still have their name but vibrancy is not the same
I have not the chance even to claim that any other might be to blame

perhaps when passed this veil of dark a life (of sorts) one might embark
no more for sounds of her to hark nor time to run upon her mark

will pictures have much less a wrench whilst muddied thoughts might lose their stench
and elegance so chic and French may not be solely her entrench

I need not telling of where to start though others try it to impart
be still therefore my beaten heart as rent it is and torn apart

Song Of The Day ~ Dodgy – Melodies Haunt You

Remembrances Day

One year to the day I dared to dream
a Cheshire cat who got the cream
cross seas and thru where once was home
to Harbour Bridge and Opera dome

the day that passed will e’er reman
with vision of you just the same
the gentle touch surround my face
with glowing brush of softest grace

I pine for times between us close
and fight the demons most morose
to seek to look, perhaps to find
the happiness I left behind

for you the cause of so much joy
enlightened as you did this boy
who never felt now such the loss
where life reveals now sanded gloss

I pray you well my sweetheart fair
as I sit here and you lay there
in other life I hope to find
better circumstances us will bind

for now I can but weep, lament
whimper dark and malcontent
the world holds no more which to smile
the streets and screens no more beguile

without the dawn to hear your voice
an endless slumber would be choice
yet wake I do, albeit late
to drowsy frown and cursing fate

for in all I see and all I do
the constant essence hints of you
the anchors and routines I know
the signing off of love, Coco

Song Of The Day ~ Led Zeppelin – Thank You

The Worst Sorrow

Do you regret what you have lost when it’s you who seemed to throw away?
do you presume it might be there should you miss it another day?
do you worry for the pining and the disembowelment of regret?
do you crave some quick oblivion to help you to forget?

Was I wrong to let her go, I could not bear to see her sad?
was I wrong to think in time that I would for certain drive her mad?
was I wrong in thinking truly that my love must set her free?
was I wrong to think it best that she should no longer count on me?

Can I live with what I’ve done and will I ever feel again?
can I make it through the longing and the ever-biting yen
can I reconcile the weeping that it never came to pass?
can I console myself in knowing that she deserved a better class?

I can but hope in all the turmoil that she of all might find her peace
I can but hope that rid of me the negatives for her will cease
I can but hope the pain I’ve caused her returns to me where it belongs
I can but hope before my death I might atone for all those wrongs.

Song Of The Day ~ Camera Obscura – French Navy

I was minded to write this following a couple of statements made not so very long ago by senior politicians from the Labour Party in the UK.  I should explain to those outside the UK who do occasionally stop by, that the Labour Party is the one that would at least until the 1990s have been as the party on the left.  It remains to the left of the current Conservative party but it is now a very active proponent of neo-liberal economics rather than anything even remotely Keynesian.  This shift started some time ago and a move toward a more social democratic position as distinct from Socialism was clear from the 1980s but the death of Labour leader John Smith in 1994 allowed the Bilderberg-fuelled neo-liberals to transform the party into something the founders would have felt was an anathema to all the original ideals for which it stood, more akin in fact to the one it was formed to stand against.  A party designed to protect privilege a little less unfairly than its competitor, a party more inclined to throw some crumbs from the table rather than eat the whole meal in front of the impoverished.  It is almost the more contemptible for that.  Almost.

The shadow Chancellor, Ed Balls (no that is actually his name!) is in what one might to an extent think a strong position.  The current incumbent in government is a detached, self-righteous arse and wedded to the austerity agenda wholeheartedly, of course he would be these are all measures that will not affect him just as they will not affect the vast majority of the politicians who are telling us how important these things our for our own prosperity.  And yet the majority of people have never seen the sort of prosperity it is claimed is being protected on their behalf.  What these people see is their pensions being eroded, health service in disarray, house prices going to a level that is beyond even the dreams of the common person let alone the actual reach thereof.  Fuel and overall energy prices rise, petrol prices may have stabilised but that is an inevitable short-term thing and yet people are being talked to as if children again akin to being told that one has to eat one’s greens because think of the starving folk in Africa.  The politicians on the other hand have very often some serious prosperity and can claim lots of expenses from the taxpayer in order to help them enjoy it.  They say it’s hard to live on £67,000 something a great many millions in this country I suspect would like the chance to check on to ensure they agree.

Well Ed Balls has no plans to deviate on the austerity agenda, no what the compassionate man has said is ““Without fiscal discipline and a credible commitment to eliminate the deficit, we cannot achieve the stability we need.”  He does not address the hideous inequalities that are ever growing he does not talk about the redressing of the balance for the most marginalised.  He does talk about the protection of the NHS because of course this is a vote winning strategy for the middle classes, after all he doesn’t expect to need to court the disaffected and poorest, they all live in safe Labour slum seats.

And then there is the Machiavellian figure of Tony Blair, hanging around like an acrid stench in the air foully polluting anything and everything with which it comes into contact.  Blair was the main driving force behind Labour’s switch to a more right-wing stance that which would in say the 1960s have been seen as the ground of the Conservative party, which had itself since the 1980s under Margaret Thatcher moved considerably further to the right.  It wasn’t as if the Conservative lurch had sucked Labour with it, it was more that Labour chose to follow and indeed then to set the agenda for the centre-right to such an extent that it almost forced to Conservatives to continue the trend mollifying those at the more marginal end of the spectrum who might otherwise have been seen as bigots, racists and the overall far-right.

The excuse for Blair’s reforms was to make Labour electable, that something needed to be done to erode the Tories heartland. In my opinion it is likely given the utter disarray and catastrophic unpopularity of the Tory party in 1997 that if Labour had stood on the overt principles of the Communist Manifesto they would still have gained a Parliamentary majority. (Partially because there are plenty of principles within said document that people would not be at all averse to were they not to know whence it came).

Now Blair is coming in like a deposed Tory Prime Minister sticking his oar in and claiming that Ed Miliband, at best centre-left, is too far to the left for Labour to win the next election.  Blair referred to a poll in May 2014 as indicating that it could be an election ‘in which a traditional Left-wing party competes with a traditional Right-wing party, with the traditional result’. Asked if he meant a Tory win, he said: ‘Yes, that’s what happens.’ He denied the political centre ground has shifted as a result of the financial crisis. ‘I see no evidence for that,’ he said. ‘You could argue that it has moved to the Right, not Left.’ 

Errr… if it’s moved to the right doesn’t that mean it’s shifted Tony…?

Lest we forget Blair was also the man who not only led the country into an illegal and unfounded war but claimed it was in effect his religious duty to do so.  Blair and Bush were the prime escalators of the current mess, Bush’s motivation was clearer, he wished to finish Daddy’s work, not a smart reason but a reason nevertheless.  Blair was either a religious zealot or a gullible idiot and much as I intensely detest the man I do not think him the latter at all.  Much has been written as to how much the UK & US knew about the supposed weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.  Let me just say this, either there would be receipts (and the US used to frequently sell Iraq its arms having set it up in effect to firebreak from Iran) or there would have been factories manufacturing it over a long period of time. I’d imagine that would have been spotted after all they’ve known where Iran’s factories are and they aren’t even making weapons.

Naturally after all his zeal and after the exit of Bush, Cheney and the lucrative rebuilding contracts that were exacted Blair was installed as the Middle East Peace Envoy, a more ironic appointment I would have thought there has not been and I’d go so far as to say it has to rival Henry Kissinger’s Nobel Peace Prize.  So if Tom Lehrer was ever likely to come out of retirement Blair’s arrival would have sealed his silence.

 The difficulty now is we have reached a stage where it appears to be the end of dissent in quite the sense it was before, or is this hyperbole?  Well perhaps a little because what has happened is the mainstreaming of a quelling of descent that has taken place more covertly across the world for many years.  The surveillance, the “security” and “anti-terror” legislation is such that we might have thought it dystopian reality had we had it presented to us 25 years ago

BBC journalist Tim Willcox has apologised for a comment made which was undoubtedly ill-directed and in poor taste and was dismissed by the person to whom it was asked, as was her right.  However why has such a furore as has met Willcox not been dished out to Rupert Murdoch’s amalgam conflating Islam with religious extremism?  Islamaphobia is talked about as a phenomenon and the righteous get very cross and worried about this whilst the mainstream media are allowed to peddle hatred and filth and an absolute perversion of a creed that they get very upset about should it be applied to theirs.  At the same time they whip up furore at the disaffected, the young joining the cause in the Middle East, why they say why do they do it?  Perhaps they have not really looked at the course they the establishment has plotted over the last 25 years.  This is not just about religion it is about the complete disenfranchisement of huge sections of society.  You might say it was ever thus after all “the blacks, the dogs and the Irish” took more than their share of stick in their time but that was ignorance and not deliberate policy.  The muslims are only one, but they are the dangerous one so they make the headlines.  The disabled are another but they aren’t glamorous enough to make the news and besides those that might have generally killed themselves from having been denied the dignity of human life and made to feel like spongers on account of conditions and diseases and the factors they have with which society disables them.  And then there’s just the common or garden poor.  Well, they’ve got food banks now and even Norman Tebbit thinks not all the people using them are scroungers eating junk food anymore.  But he did up to a few days beforehand.

We have an upcoming election and this is once again to be fought on the policies of negativity, ‘if you don’t like what they’ve done then vote us’ or ‘if you don’t want them getting in then vote us again.’  Only no-one really voted for things to be as they are and now there is a new mainstream movement of ‘if you don’t like it you can fuck off back where you came from.’  Parallels with dark periods in the past are easy to make but you know when they are valid when you see how much they chill you as you look at them.  I feel distinctly disquieted.

Yet I see no alternative except in the case perhaps of one party which has less right-leaning credentials. This is the Green Party and it has been all but marginalised from the media coverage whilst the bigoted ‘no room at the inn’ party gets feted for its shaking up of British politics.

So the fact is what we will end up with is a succession of parties with capitalist ideologies and intentions, call them the new right, old right, new left, red tories, blue-rinse, UKIPers it doesn’t matter because the fact is they are all selling the same ticket and it is one which has led to the despicable mess the country is now in, you choice is merely whether that trend to feudalism is a quick one or a slow one.  Tricky isn’t it? It’s like being told you face the Firing Squad in the morning and then being left with a loaded pistol… ‘do the honourable thing old chap!’

I’m afraid I despair sometimes, which may make you wonder why I came back as some harbinger of doom having been buried away for so long.  Well that’s the thing with harbinger’s of doom they don’t tend to come at convenient times.  Sorry about that.

Song Of The Day ~ GoFaster – A Modern Education

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