OK I stole the title but plaguarism is a sincere form of flattery. I have kept writing even tho’ my network connection has been down for days, so I thought I’d just upload all in one go rather than be lazy and not get anything done.

I felt subdued today, after the funeral yeasterday I suppose it was only natural. Actually the funeral was more like an opportunity to go down memory lane and see people that I hadn’t seen for 20 or more years, also going to a house that I hadn’t been in for that long seeing what had changed, and what hadn’t. This was a house I had spent a lot of my childhood in, more in some instances than some of the houses Mother and I actually lived in. I rode a bike for the first time up the road, must have been around 22-25 years ago or so. I remember the ride, I was annoyed because I had just seen one of the girls do it and I couldn’t, we went inside and then I went back out to the bike and just rode up the road in sheer bloody-mindedness. That was me all over, I had convinced myself I couldn’t do it but there was no physical impediment so when the shame of being the only one not to be able to do it occured to me that was it. I learnt to swim around that time with one of the girls too. They seemed happy days, I suspect I was a bit of a bollocks though. At the drama group that we all went to in the holidays the group leader said to me after the last performance that I did there that I had come as something of an unruly brat some years before and was now maturing into a young man. Translation -you were a right bolshy little tyke and now you’re ok!! The funeral itself was at a crematorium, I hate crematoria they give me the right heebee jeebies ever since I went to my Great Aunt Betty’s funeral when I was in my teens and I say black smoke coming out of the chimney. For no rational reason other than the fact I don’t fancy being burnt I’d rather be put in the ground with something marking where I am, very hypocritical really when you think where such places are.

Today though, I didn’t sleep a lot after watching the German language zone until 2, pillock. I had to get to Birmingham for more dental gladness, my dentist was late, she is about as bad as me. She was quite well tarted up today tho’ so she must have a date later or etwas. She told me I ought to get my hair cut, cheeky cow, I explained she doesn’t know what I look like with short hair whilst I do. Besides I’m now paranoid that if I were to cut it all off -which I’m NOT, no f ing way, I might not be able to grow it back again because who knows what lies beneath, I could be bald and just not know it yet! Aaaaaaaargh! So after over 2 hours of wedging my jaw open and having burning hypochlorite in my gob I then got to set off for work. My heart wasn’t really in it, it felt almost like being there on the first day again having been away for 3 days.

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