OK now I hate moving house, I mean really detest it, most people do but I have a special reserve of vitriol which only comes out when I’m moving. You see I’m a strange untidy sort of person, I have stuff all over the place but when it comes to clearing up, and when you’re moving there’s just a never ending amount of clearing up, I don’t like to shove it all in bags to get it out. It offends me because then I don’t know where anything is and I spend the next 6 months trying to bloody find stuff again things like paperwork that I needed 4 months before etc. etc. So I’m currently in the grips of moving so it’s work during the day then come home and try to move in the evening, I have been up until 2am the last 4 nights trying desperately to get it all done. Tonight is last chance and I’m absolutely knackered I’ve still got to clear the myriad assortment of shite from the floor in the living room and the kitchen, the loft is done, the bathroom just needs a bit of a clean.

I forgot that when you move into a new place there are all the strange sounds that you’re not used to, the gas boiler keeps making noises, my flatmate going for a piss and farting whilst he’s in the bog, all these charming little nuances that you miss when living alone! My flatmate is now convinced that my last place was The Tardis due to the continuing stream of stuff that keeps coming out, and yet the place still looks as untidy within as it did when I was living there! I even got a mate to help me lug stuff yesterday, and if he hadn’t I’d have really been screwed no doubt about it, I could possibly have coped with the amount but the sheer weight of some things would have completely worn me out. As it is I went to bed with that throbbing feet feeling and back spasms, today I just feel like lead. The only consolation is that I shouldn’t have to lift anything heavy tonight all that stuff is out. I wish I had a delicate broom, something that I could use to sweep everything on the floor into a bag without the fear that I’m bound to break the only item of importance that might be left.

I’m a horder, I admit it, it appears to be something I have a definitive aptitude for sadly when coupled with an equally strong talent for lethargy it means I am likely to be on the next series of BBCs ‘A Life of Grime’, I see it as no coincidence that on that program after they removed the elderly Mr Trebus from his “squalid” house which they had been declaring unfit for habitation due to all the stuff, he was moved into a home and they tidied him and his clothes up he died shortly afterwards. You see it’s organisational facism, tidy people think that messy people are just tidy people who are too lazy to tidy up. Whereas in fact tidy people are just messy people who are just too anal to let things lie once in a while. I genuinely do not like tidyness for tidyness sake, the idea of moving all your shit out of the way because people are coming over…bollocks to that if I’m going over to them I expect to abide by their house rules and if that means taking shoes off and being very tidy that’s fine it’s their house. If they come to me they can relax because I don’t give a monkeys whether they lounge around and be all messy, as long as they don’t piss on the floor of the bog or move my records around I’m happy, Yes, I am a little strange when it comes to books, records, DVDs etc. I like them sorted a la Rob in High Fidelity. It has to be precise and they have to be all pushed in to the smae extent, any height discrepancies in the books must be accounted for by placing taller on the sides and gradually tapering in, books must be sorted by category, records by artist, DVDs by genre (except the Michael Caine stuff which must be chronological)! I apologise, I’m a freak and obviously I am a tidy person just too lazy to tidy up. The worst thing is that if I’m at someone else’s house I feel the need to organise their films and music as well and ensure that the spacial side of things is symetrical, I can’t stand things hanging slightly over the edge of a shelf!

So you see there again I am obviously going to have real trouble moving because the things I like organised descend into chaos and the things I am quite happy to have disorganised get mixed up with stuff that shouldn’t be there. Consequently I am booking a minor nervous breakdown for very shortly.

Original Comments:

Katie made this comment,
I thought that I was the only one! I am pathalogically messy and allow my clothes to live in piles on the floor etc but when it comes to CDs, vinyl,books and DVDs I am incredibly anal. Cds must be separated into albums (which are the organised alphabetically by artist and within artist chronological order, however soundtracks etc must be kept separtely in alphabetical order), singles and ‘other’ ie freebies etc. Vinyl singles and alblums must also be keep separately and in size order &” together, 12″ together all in alphabetical order. Books must be as per a library, fiction organised alphabetically and non-fiction by catergory and DVDs must be separated into the films, tv shows and other before being arranged in alphabetical order. However, I will often keep one of a pair of shoes in the hall and another in the living room. Also rather than having the urge rearrange other peoples things I have actually done it to some of m close friends in the past. Anyway in summary you are not a freak, no.
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comment added :: {ts ‘2004-05-15 22:51:09’} GMT+01

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