Whether love retreat or it advance
owes itself to random chance
would that I could your fears allay
but you’ll find it out yourself some day

naive belief and feckless hope
the brain’s internal gallows rope
as such pray that your neck it breaks
for strangulation longer takes

I ask myself would I again
risk all and end up with this pain
perhaps there’s things I may yet know
but my answer now’s resounding ‘no’

for what once teased a life inviting
from lover’s kiss and all requiting
yielded distance final ruling
exposed a lack of selfless schooling

where pictures, ornaments remember
of August, April and November
a blessed existence hope and pleasure
preserved like frames of gifted treasure

become like concrete under water
each memory a drowning slaughter
to comfort not but showing warning
of toil to come and ageless mourning

I fear each day’s infernal strife
to grieve the one to be my wife
a cause perhaps so self-obsessing
without an end or some redressing

highlighted all where I was failing
I did not heed my dearest’s ailing
assuming all would time becalm
and reunited none would harm

I wrongly left it all to chance
consequent alone shall dance
bookkeeper cannot count the cost
that signifies just what I lost

did I say ‘what’ that should be ‘whom’
for money seldom builds a tomb
though in this case its damage done
without it lost, with it won?

My life to come I’ll analyse
the time since I last saw those eyes
the years since I had felt her touch
will probably reveal as much

had I perhaps her better heeded
might have I constructed what she needed
would we have realised our happy ending
that joined together eternal spending?

as much as all I miss the pleasance
of her enriching, nurturing presence
the lack of love once filled me bursting
has left me parched and constant thirsting

no other cup that dryness sate
no pills can make the ache abate
no mask can face of sadness hide
too great the gnawing pain inside

Song Of The Day ~ Joy Division – Love Will Tear Us Apart

Advertisements